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Or at least something else besides hot sauce and frozen pizza (apparently thats not as uncommon as I thought) that only you and I would know?
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We all wear a mask. We wear a mask when we wake up. We put on a mask when we go to work. We have a mask for our friends, a mask for our colleagues, a mask for our families, a mask for our lovers, and a mask for ourselves.
Confidentially I am a sexual dominant. It arouses me terribly when I see a woman in submission. And this information is confidential for I whole-heartedly believe in the equality of the genders. I am also confident in my sexuality, in pushing boundaries and stretching the imagination to places in the mind and body, discovering new sensations and new emotions. It's all within.
My dominance is a significant part of my sexuality, but it does not define me as a person; I have a fulfilling vanilla life that I want to share with a sexually adventurous woman who also does not let her sexual orientation characterize her entire life. So here's the fundamental problem: I'm attracted to that rare breed of smart, ambitious -- even slightly arrogant -- women who relish being in submission. She is not submissive per se but becomes uncontrollably aroused in submission.
It's my Achilles' heel, this attraction to bright and driven women. This attraction has nothing to do with her career or financial success, but rather her personality type. These women keep me interested. They're engaging, intelligent, polite. They have (and can run) their own lives, can offer opinions, have areas of expertise and provide intelligent dinner conversation. In short, they have a lot to add to a relationship. It's no secret that in the realm of sexuality I am it, but in the rest of the relationship I want someone who is my equal. This equality in our everyday lives makes her submission to me in the bedroom that much more intimate and exciting. Otherwise, we are just a happy, sophisticated, cultured, cosmopolitan couple. The contrast is an aphrodisiac in itself.
This shared interest comes with boundaries and limitations, your life outside this reltionship will be just that, yours. My life outside will be mine. Our relationship will be meaningful but our other relationships, marriages, significant others, are meaningful as well. We are not looking to change those.
As a famous French woman writer once wrote:
"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistiy; but as a woman, oh, god, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding."
So, if you can see yourself in this post and if I have described you, please drop a line and say, "Hello, my name is _________." Let your intelligence and wit shine through these black and white fonts.
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