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    Stop I remember it starting with us just being friends, and not thinking much of it as it grew. As we were such an unlikely coupling. You were so straight and normal. You thought I carried myself with such ease, and so easily understood your pain and vulnerability. As time progressed I felt like I was doing a good thing, supporting you through the times, making you laugh and relax when everything was upside down. I felt so trusted and respected. You understood my juggling, and thought I was brave and brilliant. I felt that I might grow bored with you, but not until you were on your feet. You had such beautiful eyes. And then as things kept happening, you started seeing some sort of vision that I didn't. And instead of juggling I was bearing.. At you saw it as the weight of the world. And I would continue to seduce you with poems and knowing glances. And when your eyes would light up they would feed my arrogant soul. But the dance I did for you... you started to see it as staggering. And all at once things became heavy. And what was never supposed to be... it never became. And now. I am alone. You have your simple life with someone else, and I have lost my sustenance. I have stopped seeing myself as a juggler, and with every step I bear that weight. And my frailty has shown through. Every night I have my imaginary talk with you... telling you I'm ok, that I understand, and that it's for the best. And the nights I don't... I dream about that talk, but we are in a field, and it's dark, and you understand and feel safe to care about me that one moment. And as we hug the stars shine like christmas lights seen through tear filled eyes. And I awaken to my empty room. It might be for the best, and I might be OK, but your voice haunts me, and I avoid seeing your eyes lest they my facade. My dance is gone. Every time I know you are there I become a clumsy oaf. But I can still dream. And I can still feel the magic deep within me. One day I will dance again. And I know you will be happy for me. Remember the night of the hail storm. Remember the Castle I wanted to build. Remember the flowers. I will always love you.

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