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Y ou know? i am trying so hard to break this vice grip hold , your memory has of my heart and mind,i cant do anythiong, my body was broken down by an elk head who only stares back at her where ever she goes in the place? i see it as vivdly i see you,kicking back on the couch with one leg up over the back of it and watching bill maher on tv ,its a friday night.
then i wonder if you think , ever of how i feel now, if i ever got over the terrible shock. and the sadness of havin the one i so cared about ripped right out from under my protective arms,arms that are weak now,loosing all stregnth because of you, and how i managed to have been able to go on without you, just go forward with my life and never look back at you as i spin you under my wheels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats Mr R to you .Thank you.
Yes rumors are abound as always, yet i`ll never tell.only that do not know what more i can do what more can i say to my love that has not been said many times.
I come here with my heart ,or whats left of it open in my hands asking her forgiveness for my sins.
I do not know what more i can do to prove my undieing love to her.she knows more than anyone my feelings for her, she swore that same undieing love to me ,many times,.
Some think this is a joke, but those of you who are on the side i am on kjnow this is anything but a joke, when your heart has been torn to ribbons over someone who cares not if i live or die.
She went on living her life, and left me to stagnate in the mire of all we had as a couple, as 2 living ,loving humans who were madly in love.and i have is a fading memory of her and the wonderful times we shared.. I have kept for 4 years the first message she ever left me after the first weekend we shared together, telling me how much she missed me, and i had just left her house. i kept it and i play it sometimes and i cry.because my heart aches, and i still do not know why we are apart.I took the brunt of anger and im still paying for it, i could have ed the cops 5 times on her and had her arrested, yet i never wanted her to feel the imbarasment of having a cop come and arrest her ,i sent her a love letter ,that got me arrested and send to anger management. i know she is reading this and she knows how i feel, and all i want is for her to see me, talk to me,i want to know for a fact she is doing well.and if she had one shread of decency about her, she would me and allow me to come and see her.but that would be asking to much of someone who once said they loved me more than life itself..now would it not?


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