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Athletic male Interested in dating older women adult sex Butte Meadows California Housewives wants hot sex Grand Bay Alabama My heart chose the chair closer to you w4m I thought I had it figured out for a while. I'm openly honest, my deepest secrets shared with anyone who'd care, so with nothing to hide how could it not be figured out? I thought I was doing what was necessary to keep you as a friend. Foolish to believe acting any way other than 'me' would be grounds for a deep friendship. But I did believe it. I am mortified when a friend whose feelings matter to me hits on me or flirts in the slightest. I thought the worst thing I could do was be that person to you. It was ridiculous. Being cautious.

It's far too easy to mistake my love of all things and dismissal for personal space as flirting and it complicates my interactions with people. I didn't try to block you out or give you a silent treatment, but I bet it could have seemed so. I was trying to block me in, the overly touchy feely and potentially racy joker, very intellectually intimate friend that I am. Spare you the awful feelings I get in a similar situation when friendly lines feel like they are being crossed. But I have in hindsight evaluated and concluded that I did, in fact, accomplish the exact opposite of my intentions. I should never have gotten a filter. People, you, can all speak up if they have a need to fulfill. It was not right for me to make choices for you. I should have been myself and let you decide if it was making you uncomfortable.

Don't worry this was part of many realizations and after many filters were smashed. I, unknowingly, was scared. Fear of losing a friend trampled me. Too silly I am to make a problem before there ever was one. I never felt happier than when I was just myself around you, carefree, before we had the talk. The one that made me scared and I didn't know it.

I'm glad I learned I was scared. I thought I was finally not actually afraid of anything. Feels good to be proven wrong I do not like definitives.

So I apologize. For withholding most comments and actions that naturally tried to escape me in search of you. For being far less interesting, seeming far less interested and for what I never wanted, ever hurting you or making it seem like I didn't appreciate or want your friendship. I promise that was unintentional. Yours is my favorite smile. I'd never want to see it struggle in my presence. Had you asked why I seemed different, you would have received an in depth explanation of my motives and I probably would have laughed at it not making sense once I heard it out loud.

I wish I would have realized sooner. I'd feel even more awful that I never understood what I was doing until now, but I know you'd forgive me and it might effect you if I beat myself up over it. You're such a good person. But no need for wishing. I've got it now, (I think), and time to keep moving forward! If you catch me staring and you don't seem bothered, that's a start! If you do seem bothered I'll just bring it up and completely clear the air. No lingering questions or concerns. It's easy.

Conclusion conclusion: You're getting the friend who shared many laughs and many gazes and many talks with back. Losing the one that is nothing but confusion and is sort of unapproachable. We'll see how it goes. If you choose it's no good, it was a worthwhile risk. People get along or they don't. No hard feelings ever.
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