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This road has been mine. But I want it to be ours.

I don't have time or energy for bullshit anymore. So I'm just going to lay out my situation in black and white honesty.
My entire life I have been in relationships with men. One right after the other. I am not comfortable being single. I love myself for the most part. But there is always that small bit of insecurity that I avoid confronting by surrounding myself with a man who has affection for me. It boosts my self-esteem enough that I can put off my insecurities.
I am physiy attracted to men, yes. I am in relationships with them because they are simple, standard, and an easy answer.
Since I was young it has been known by most in my life that I am attracted to women. I own up to "bi" because again, its simpler. Most have believed its just a phase and so I haven't had to deal with much confrontation about it. I have had sexual involvment with other women, but it has been limited or shared. I want more.
Men are like monkeys. Great companions. But not much more than that. I enjoy sex with men sometimes. but its not enough. Its not what I want.
They aren't enough. Its not right. Its never been right. I don't know what I am afraid of. But I am tired of just having a man in front of me as a cover so that I don't have to deal with my real feelings. I'm tired of being head over heels for certain women throughout my life and then having to only express these affections with the man in my life.
I'm single now. i have thrown my hands up and walked away.

I'm not giving up on men because they are frustrating or "I quit men, I'm tired of getting hurt" blah blah blah. I'm giving up on LYING to myself. I want a WOMAN. I want LOVE. I want a best friend and lover. I want to orgasm like I've always wanted. I want the fantasies in my head to be how I truly am living. One woman. My woman. I want to be who I want to be WITH who I want to be with!

I don't know if anyone will get this. Or understand. I just want to really fall in love with someone that will be everything Ive always dreamed about.

If i don't find anyone that i hit it off with. Maybe i could at least find some friends through here that get it.
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Let me fuck you then you fuck me Langham, Saskatchewan and iceskating friends K misses J/N AZnNM J/N - If you knew how much you were appreciated, loved and cared about , you'd have no need to doubt. I know you have been hurt and I wish I could erase all that women from your past have left you feeling. While I cant make any of that go away, I can promise you that I am not like those people and I will show you every day how special you are and how much you mean to me.What I told you last year continues to hold true. At first I knew it was you who was meant for me. Slowly but surely we have become closer and I am so grateful to have you in my world. Looking forward to the day when we will not have to leave each other to go home. With everything I am ~ I promise you I am true and it is my every intent to treat you very well, with love kindness, respect, appreciation and all that is positive.I missed you before you were gone every day since. BIG hugs , ~ K ~ :-) *** Remember? Please dont categorize me. I promise you , you will be treated better than you have ever been :-)
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