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The object of ruined orgasm is to experience orgasms which are unsatisfactory or painful. This practice allows the physical release of sexual climax while denying or minimizing the satisfaction and pleasure associated with orgasm. Stimulation is provided to the moment orgasm is inevitable, and then stopped by breaking all physical contact with the genitals just as orgasm begins (i.e. past the "edge"). Non-erotic or nonsexual distractions may also be introduced at this point, which can include undesirable pain or conversation.

Constriction, thumbing, palming, dictating, thwacking and other practices are additional ways to reduce, disrupt, or otherwise "ruin" the pleasure of orgasm. Many of these methods can include disruptive physical actions or psychological or emotional trickery. Deception can play a key role in the effectiveness of a ruined orgasm.

Ruined orgasms lack the satisfying and relaxing feelings present after a normal male orgasm. After a ruined orgasm the man can still feel sexual desire and arousal, and this allows continued enjoyment of sexual stimulation after a very brief recovery period. This is why ruined orgasm allows a man to release seminal fluid and still maintain his sexual arousal afterwards. Multiple ruined orgasms are often attainable in one session, milking the man dry while still leaving him desperate.

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