Online: Yesterday
Eternal Solitude m4w
I always thought that I had no problem with being alone.
Ten years later I still say, " I can handle it".
Being alone and being lonely are two different animals.
It is obvious to my friends.
It seems I have become one of those "desperate nice guys" that never get the girl.
Is it becuase I have lost my testosterone grown stones? No.
Is it becuase I am bitter and trust nobody with my heart any longer? Probably.
They say time heals all wounds.
I say bullshit!
I have been trying to heal for years.
And I cannot seem to get over you of all the people in and out of my life.
YOU are the one I cannot let go of.
Looking way back. I had bad feelings that our time together was coming to an end. I tried to stop it.
And I swore I would never do some of the things I did, before, during and after our love affair was over.
I am still so sorry. It was my fault how we ended. I tried to stop it.
I just had bad timing. I did not open my eyes before it was too late. And I still tried to stop it.
I know that I will never find or even look to love anyone as much as I loved you Jeanette Marie Keaton.
I do not blame you for not waiting for me to "show you" like a real man should.
Anywhoos, For what it's worth.
I still miss you dearly. I think of you at least once a day. Even after all of these years.
Sadly, I cannot open myself up to heartache like that ever again.
So, I will remain here, alone, where I am safe.
Wallowing in eternal solitude.
Patrick
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